Out Where Only Dreams Have Been
by HaloGatomon
Summary: The soul surviver of an Apocalypse, Gohan must learn how to live again in a seemingly dead world. In his struggle, he discovers that life and love finds a way. Chapter 4 now up!
1. Farewell

Disclaimer~I don't own DBZ got it?  
  
Author's Note~This fic is dedicated to all my fantastic friends(you know who you are) ^-^  
  
  
Dragonball Z  
  
Out Where Only Dreams Have Been  
  
Chapter 1-Farewell  
  
  
  
How many times have I spent  
Wondering the same question twice  
Keep going over in my mind  
How could it end this way?  
  
Just lately I've been wondering  
Why was it all worth the struggle  
To see our sacrifices drain away  
Like a mature death filled shadow  
  
Too many have already faded  
From this meaningless existance  
Despirate not to let more perish, I know  
There is no way I can stop fate  
  
Why was this life chosen for me?  
Nothing left here but shattered promises  
And fractured dreams  
Only add to the pain of loss and sorrow  
  
I only seek in this bleek world  
For some kind of miracle laying  
Within the ruins of this broken Earth  
Something that has gone on too long  
  
With my own eyes I have watched  
My most cherished posessions  
Turn to dust in a touch,torn from me in a flash  
My heart bleeds endless tears in the wind  
  
To those who have died  
I only hope you have a sacred unknown haven  
I wish that you are out there somewhere  
Out where only dreams have been  
  
  
  
And as the young Demi-Saiyan watched the setting sun, he released the ashes of his life into the wind, never to be seen again. His jet black hair brushed against his cheeks. His bitter tears tumbled ever so slowly down his pain wracked face. His body shook fiercely within the wind's coils, though they weren't the reason for his composure. With the Apocalypse now over, he was now alone. Friends, family and everything he knew had been destroyed and where nothing more but ash around his feet. The depths of loss within his heart were huge tears that could never be healed.   
  
All alone in a seemingly dead world, Gohan would have to learn to live again. 


	2. Aftermath

Disclaimer~I don't own DBZ got it? All I own is my made up character, Amber.  
  
Author's Note~This fic is dedicated to all my fantastic friends(you know who you are) ^-^  
  
  
Dragonball Z  
  
Out Where Only Dreams Have Been  
  
Chapter 2-The Aftermath  
  
  
  
The rising orb of bright firey energy rised into the heavy grey sky. Rays from first light of the morning, for the first time not indicating another bloody day of struggle, fight for survival and death. The world had awaited this day for over 10 years.   
This was the first day of final peace.   
However, for many, the world that was left was not the world they were trying to save.  
  
Ripples of a forever lost reflection spread like ocean waves across the surface of the stream, their meaning posessed a deeper magnitude preserved within them.  
Reflection of the person is the reflection of their heart, Gohan knew this all too well. It was something that his father had taught him well.   
Dull black eyes looked over the destroyed and ash covered land. Nothing much was left of his home and what he knew, it had been ground down to dust.  
The battle had been won by them, but he was the only one left alive. Gohan was the soul survivor of the Z Fighters. This wretched war had taken everything he had cherished and dearly loved. His family, his friends, his life.   
It was a miracle that he and others had survived at all, since the ferociousness of the war was, in all honestly, a worse fate than death and hell. Gohan had lived through this war since he was 8 year old and had witnessed first hand the horrors and now he had to live with them. The memories, seeing his family being ripped apart, his friends burning in fires of hell, everything he knew being reduced to nothing but smoke.  
Living with these memories was a fate worse than death.  
Blood covered black hair shielded the never ending tears streaking down his bruised face. His only purpose now was the help rebuild what was destroyed and to repair the damage done. But his heart, that could never be repaired. Gohan thought the path ahead of him would be one endless struggle between his soul and the new world in which he lived. He thought he'd never be able to cope. He had yet to discover that life and love would show him how to live once again.  
  
Amber struggled through the ruins of what was once the street where she lived. Now, it was a simple muddy river containing rubble, debris and the air filtered was the stench of death and it was helped by the torrential rain pouring down. Her eyes welled up with tears as she clambered through the filth, pulling along a dirty old rucksack.  
"Aw come on you stupid bag!" Amber moaned as the bag got caught up on a jaggered piece of metal.  
Amber pulled very hard put her hands slipped on the strap and fell over into a puddle of mud.   
"Darn it!" Amber muttered as she tried to get back up.  
Then, a hand extended down to Amber. She trustingly took it and she was pulled up on her feet. Her crystal blue eyes met dim black, tear filled eyes. In that split second, Amber felt a large twinge in her heart. Then, the owner of the black orb eyes handed Amber her bag.  
"Um, thanks." Amber said.  
"Don't mention it."  
Amber could hear the pain and sorrow in his voice and her spirit dropped instantly. She felt very sorry for this black haired stranger.  
"Hey listen, what's you name?" Amber asked. "I'm Amber, who are you?"  
"Gohan."  
"Well Gohan, thanks for what you did just now. I appriciate it." Amber said.  
"All I did was help you up." Gohan said, turning around.  
"Not many people help other people up nowadays." Amber said.  
"Look, I don't need your pity." Gohan said bitterly, turning around and walking off.  
"Hey!" Amber yelled.  
She ran up and stood in front of Gohan.  
"I was NOT giving you pity! I was just saying thanks!"  
"You said thanks now I'm saying goodbye." Gohan said, walking past Amber.  
"Rude! Didn't your parents teach you any manners?!" Amber yelled.  
In a flash Amber found herself sitting on the ground.  
"Ow!" Amber yelled, looking up at Gohan who was glaring fiercely at her.  
"MY PARENTS!" Gohan yelled. "THEY'RE…they're dead."  
Amber gasped silently, realising why she'd hit such a sensitive spot.  
"My whole life died in this war. My family, my friends, my world. Everything I loved and cherished, now nothing more but dust floating in the wind. I'm the only one left."  
Amber got to her feet, slowly walked over to Gohan and gently rested her hand on his shoulder.  
"I'm really sorry Gohan." Amber said. "I didn't mean to yell at you. I should've been more considerate."  
"No, I'm the one who should be sorry." Gohan said quietly. "I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. You have no idea how many looks people give me when they see me walking down the empty streets and destroyed cities. I hate it when people pity me."  
"Tell me about it." Amber said. "And I do know how you feel Gohan. My parents and grandfather were killed in this war. I'm alone too."  
"Did you see your parents get slaughtered in front of your own eyes?" Gohan asked.  
"No."  
"Then you don't know exactly how I feel and believe me, you don't want to."  
Amber sighed and hugged her rucksack  
"I take it that you have no where else to go." Gohan said.  
Amber slowly shook her head.  
"Do you wanna stay at my place? I mean, at least until life tries to fix things up again."  
Amber nodded her head.  
"Come on then." Gohan said, holding out a hand.  
Amber once again, trustingly took it. Then, Gohan slowly rose into the air, scaring Amber.  
"Easy easy, you won't fall." Gohan said.  
"H-H-H-H-How can you fly?" Amber stuttered.  
"Just a little something my…my dad taught me." Gohan replied sadly.  
"You fought in this war, didn't you?" Amber asked, regaining some of her nerves.  
Gohan nodded.  
"You must've been scared." Amber said.  
"You have no idea." Gohan replied.  
"Gohan, do you truly believe that life, that we will recover from this?" Amber asked.  
Gohan stared into Amber's shiny crystal eyes. He knew she believed. He sighed.  
"You don't want to know what I believe." Gohan replied.  
The rest of the journey was silent. 


	3. Gazing Upon The Stars

Disclaimer~I don't own DBZ got it? All I own is my made up character, Amber. I also made up the lyrics to the song in this chapter so don't steal them!  
  
Author's Note~This fic is dedicated to all my fantastic friends(you know who you are) ^-^  
  
  
Dragonball Z  
  
Out Where Only Dreams Have Been  
  
Chapter 3-Gazing Upon The Stars  
  
  
  
"Not a bad place this." Amber said, while looking around the Capsule Corporation building. "I mean sure a lot of it has been blasted, but at least it's still standing which is more than I can say for most people's homes. Is this really your home?"  
"No, it belongs to a friends of mine who…who…well you know." Gohan replied quietly.  
"Oh right, I see." Amber quickly said.  
"It's kind of like my second home." Gohan said. "It was like a second home to all of us."  
"I understand." Amber said, placing her rucksack on the floor next to a dirty wooden table.  
Amber then saw some photos on the wall and stared intensely at them.  
"Who are these people?" Amber asked, pointing to one of the photos.  
Gohan chuckled and stood next to Amber.  
"That's my dad, my mother, my younger brother and me." Gohan replied.  
"Strange, how come your brother looks exactly like your dad but you don't look like him at all?" Amber asked.  
Gohan laughed lightly at the question and scratched the back of his head.  
"Don't ask me, I have no idea."   
"Your mum looks really pretty." Amber said. "Just like my mum, only my mum had ginger hair and green eyes. I was closer to her than my father or grandfather. Who were you closest to?"  
"Me? Oh, I was closest to my dad and my best friend, Piccolo." Gohan replied.  
"Piccolo? Nifty name." Amber muttered.  
Then, Amber saw something that made her eyes open wide.  
"I've seen him before!" Amber said.  
Gohan looked where Amber was pointing and gasped.  
"H-H-H-How?"  
"What? Do you really think I'd be the only one NOT to watch the Cell Games?" Amber asked, folding her arms. "So who is he anyway."  
"That's my…father." Gohan replied.  
"What? But your dad has black hair not golden!" Amber said, clearly confused. "What did he do? Transform or something?"  
Gohan grimaced.  
"Please do explain why this is so confusing." Amber asked.  
"Erm..well…see he's not human." Gohan said.  
"What?!" Amber yelled.  
"He's a Saiyan, a warrior that looks human only much much much stronger and they have tails."  
"But that makes you a Saiyan too!" Amber said.  
"Actually, half Saiyan. My mom was human." Gohan replied.  
"Then how come you, your dad and your brother don't have tails?" Amber asked.  
"They were removed. See, Saiyans with tail+full moon=disaster."  
Amber looked more confused than ever.  
"I'll just take your word for it." Amber said.  
"My dad wasn't the only Saiyan. See him there? He's a Saiyan too. His name's Vegeta." Gohan said, showing Amber a picture of Vegeta. "He's actually the Prince of all Saiyans."  
"A Prince huh? Cool." Amber said. "So how come Saiyans are here? Surely they had their own planet on which they lived."  
"It was destroyed, a long time ago." Gohan replied.  
"How long ago?"  
"When my dad was a baby."   
"That IS a long time ago."   
"Yeah, only 4 Saiyans including my dad survived."   
"Woah." Amber said. "Tough break huh?"  
"Yeah. But now, there aren't any full blooded Saiyan left, just one Demi-Saiyan." Gohan said sadly, turning away.  
"You." Amber whispered.  
Gohan nodded. Amber walked behind Gohan.  
"Well, at least your alive." Amber said. "I mean surely as long as one of you is alive, then the Saiyan race won't die."  
"But I'm not fully Saiyan!" Gohan said.  
"That doesn't matter." Amber replied. "The point is that you do have Saiyan blood flowing through your veins and therefore, the Saiyan race isn't extinct."  
"Not yet it isn't." Gohan muttered.  
"What do you mean by that?" Amber asked.  
Gohan sighed and turned around.  
"What happens when I die? What will become of the Saiyans then? We'll all be gone."  
"There you go with all that depressing death stuff again!" Amber said angrily. "I've heard enough of death thankyou very much! I'm sure you'll find someone to love and you'll have kids with. They'll have Saiyan blood, so when you die, they'll live on."  
"I doubt I'll find anyone." Gohan said. "Besides what makes you think I want someone?"  
"Oh so your just gonna spend the rest of your life feeling sorry for yourself and wishing for the death to come?" Amber growled.  
Gohan walked towards the door.  
"Your room is the first door on the left." Gohan said, before walking out.  
Amber sat on the dusty sofa with a heavy sigh, feeling half angry and half guilty.  
  
Gohan woke groggily to a quiet sound, like someone singing. He glanced to the window, it was still night. Gohan clambered from his bed and walked to the window and opened it. It was someone singing and it was coming from the roof. Easily climbing out the window, Gohan floated up on to the roof and saw Amber quietly singing in front of the blazing glory of the twinkling stars.  
  
  
How many times have I wished before  
That I could see you once more  
Just for a few seconds  
Reinforce that I hold dear to you  
Our bond can never be broken  
Even in death, I will always love you  
  
And I wish that you are there  
Out where only dreams have been  
Perfection of a paradise untouched  
By death's crooked fingers  
And out where only dreams have been  
I know is where you are  
Waiting for me to come to you  
Someday, someway, somehow I know  
I'll fly upon a pair of satin wings  
Back into your arms   
Out where only dreams have been  
  
I would give anything  
To see your face once more  
To hold you tight in my embrace  
To feeling your silken touch against my skin  
To hold your hand and never let go  
Oh to my family, my friends, my life  
  
And I wish that you are there  
Out where only dreams have been  
Perfection of a paradise untouched  
By death's crooked fingers  
And out where only dreams have been  
I know is where you are  
Waiting for me to come to you  
Someday, someway, somehow I know  
I'll fly upon a pair of satin wings  
Back into your arms   
Out where only dreams have been  
  
I promise you  
I'll never let go  
Of the hopes, the fantasies and the dreams  
You've already laid out for me  
Trust me and I won't let you down  
I'll show you how much I love you  
  
And I wish that you are there  
Out where only dreams have been  
Perfection of a paradise untouched  
By death's crooked fingers  
And out where only dreams have been  
I know is where you are  
Waiting for me to come to you  
Someday, someway, somehow I know  
I'll fly upon a pair of satin wings  
Back into your arms   
Out where only dreams have been  
  
Oh how I wish that you are there  
Out where only dreams have been  
  
  
The song completely enchanted Gohan's soul. It seemed to soothe and ease his pain somewhat. He was in awe of the song and it's melody.  
"How beautiful." Gohan whispered.  
Amber spun around and saw Gohan sitting on the opposite side of the roof and she blushed like crazy.  
"Oh, I'm really sorry." Gohan said. "I just couldn't help but listen to the song. It's so beautiful."  
"Thank you Gohan." Amber said, trying to hide her blushing face. "I don't know where it came from, the words just came into my head as I was singing."  
Gohan walked over and sat next to Amber. An uneasy silence followed.  
"That stars are really bright tonight." Gohan said, trying to break the ice.  
"Yes, they are." Amber agreed.   
"Do you think that it means something?"  
"I believe that it's our family and friends looking down upon us."  
Gohan nodded, then lowered his head.  
"Your probably right."  
Another silence followed.  
"Look Gohan, I'm sorry for what happened today." Amber said. "I didn't mean to push you like that, I just didn't want you to…"  
Amber stopped when she heard and soft muffling sound. Amber turned around to Gohan.  
"Gohan, your crying!" Amber said.  
She moved behind Gohan and put her hands on his shoulders.  
"What's wrong?"  
"Nothing, it's stupid." Gohan said, letting a small sob escape his throat.  
"Please tell me Gohan." Amber whispered. "It must be something if your crying."  
"It's just that…"Gohan spoke. "It's just that your song, it reminded me how much I miss my family and friends."  
"Oh Gohan." Amber said, wrapped her arms around his neck and gently laying her head on his shoulder, satin tears welling up in her eyes too. "I miss my family too."  
"My heart hurts to much Amber." Gohan sobbed. "The pain is worse than dying. I don't think I can live with it."  
Amber couldn't help but let a tiny sob escape her mouth. She tried to soothe the Demi-Saiyan.  
"I know how bad it hurts Gohan." Amber said. "But it won't always feel this bad. I promise you, life and love will find a way."  
Gohan stared up to the shining stars, letting the moonlight highlight the path of his tears.  
"I wish I could believe you Amber. I really wish I could." Gohan said.  
"Someday, you will Gohan." Amber whispered. "Someday, in your own time, you will."  
The rest of the night passed under starlight. 


	4. Keeper Of Memories

Disclaimer~I don't own DBZ got it? All I own is my made up character, Amber. I also made up the lyrics to the song in this chapter so don't steal them!  
  
Author's Note~This fic is dedicated to all my fantastic friends(you know who you are) ^-^  
  
  
Dragonball Z  
  
Out Where Only Dreams Have Been  
  
Chapter 4-Keeper Of Memories  
  
  
Amber had been staying with Gohan for just over 2 weeks now. Both were helping friends and other people to start rebuilding their lives and helping each other, though perhaps not noticing it. Slowly but surely, Amber was teaching Gohan how life can continue on after such a tragedy. In return, Gohan helped Amber to grieve and get over her loss. Thought he didn't say much to her, he gave her the company she needed and made sure she didn't feel alone. However, one thing Amber hadn't managed to do yet was to make Gohan feel like he wasn't alone. She had tried extremely hard to give him the company he needed, but he had put up a barrier around himself that seemed impossible to break. Amber was pretty sure that he wanted to feel like he was alone because of his guilt and she was ever more determined to make him see the truth.  
  
"Gohan? Where are you?" Amber called.  
Amber looked around the large Capsule Corporation building in search of Gohan, but there was no sign of him. Amber was a little concerned, but she just guessed that he'd gone out for a walk. Sighing and shrugging, Amber walked down the long corridors.  
Just as she was about to descend the dark stairs, Amber stopped and looked back behind herself. Strangely, she felt a presence drawing her towards the room next to her. Curious, even though a little nervous, Amber walked towards the door. Slowly, she pushed it open. It was a bedroom.   
Amber reluctantly walked inside, rubbing her arms as a cold breeze blew through the shattered glass window. The breeze became so strong that it made the door slam shut. Amber screamed out and kept looking everywhere. She didn't know why, but slowly Amber felt a calming sensation sweep all over her body. It was as if a voice was telling her not to be scared. Amber let the feeling absorb her and rush over her form like a blazing wind of fire perfectly by the scent of just fallen mildew.  
Amber slowly walked over to a large desk which was on the far side of the room opposite the big bed. She noticed that one of the draws of the desk seemed to be glowing. Cautiously, Amber slowly opened the seemingly glowing middle draw of the desk. Amber was blinded by a bright soft yellow glow for a few seconds which died down almost instantly after she had opened the draw.   
Inside the draw, Amber found a large tan leather covered book. It was an old looking book, but only in appearance. Amber carefully lifted the book out of the desk, sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at it intensely. The edges of the cover and paper inside were torn and ripped and covered with dust. Amber guessed that it was a diary of some sort which was made by someone during the war. Curiosity prevailing, Amber opened the book and looked upon the first page. It had some scribbled handwriting that Amber could barely read, but she didn't expect it to be fancy because of when it was wrote. Her initial guess was correct, the book was indeed a diary of sorts. Not a typical diary because entries were made by different people as Amber would soon discover. Just by looking at the handwriting, Amber could tell that it was written by someone who fought in the battle and that person had a pure heart.  
As Amber read the writing, she could imagine the person's voice in her head reading the words to her.  
  
  
To anyone who finds this book  
  
Everything in here are real accounts, thoughts and feelings of some of those who fought in this continuing raging war.   
  
  
That was all that was written on the first piece of tattered paper in the book. The pages of paper were loose and simply placed within the book's front and back covers. Amber assumed whoever had made the book had put all the pages together in the covers and placed it in the draw to keep it safe or perhaps to make later entries, but never got a chance to. Amber thought they were simple diary like messages. But Amber was in for a shock as she was about to find out that these diary like messages would be from the most deepest and passionate parts of the Z Fighter's hearts.  
Amber gently picked up the first piece of worn paper and started reading it.  
  
  
Dear Gohan  
  
You know I'm dying. As I'm writing this, your out there somewhere fighting with the others to keep everyone's hopes alive. If you ever get the chance to read this, please listen well and take notice at what I say. I say it not to increase the pain in your heart as you know your younger brother is dying as he writes the words on this paper, but to ease your fears and to extinguish the guilt.  
It all seemed to happen so fast. He looked at me with deep evil haunting eyes and I knew he was planning to hurt me that day. I glanced over to you brother and it hit me. He was going to kill you to make me suffer. I powered up to my max in seconds and prepared to jump over to you.   
Like a bolt of lightning, it struck me. Not you, not in front of you, not me protecting you. It hit me where I stood, about a few metres from where you were standing.  
It had all been a trick.  
I was foolish. I was so stupid. I should've known. I should've known from that same look in his eyes that he was trying to make me see the thin ice over the depths of the water and I fell right for it. I was totally unprepared, therefore I couldn't defend myself against the attack.   
The first pain I felt was directly just below my right shoulder. It was like something extremely powerful, yet relatively small eating at my skin. A small dark green beam, only about a centimetre wide was burning away my flesh just below my right shoulder. Nothing in the universe could describe the pain I was in.   
I wanted to pass out to block out the pain, but my body wouldn't respond. I felt the beam burrowing into my chest, destroying anything it came into contact with. As I felt the beam starting to burst out my back, a large spray of blood blasted from my mouth. My eyes were rolling into the back of my head. I tried to scream, but the red liquid silenced me and blocked my airway. I was suffocating on my own blood.  
I felt my back connect with the ground. I lay there, staring blindly at the sky for a few seconds.   
Then I saw you Gohan.   
I don't know how I managed to see you because my eyes were covered over in a thick layer of blood. I could feel a warmth in my body. I wasn't sure whether it was from the blood filling the hole in my chest, or whether it was from you holding me tight and telling me not to die. I guess my senses were still working a bit and I just knew it was you. Then, I felt something soft on my eyes and the blood in my eyes was gone.   
I faintly saw you my big brother.  
My vision was blurred and my hearing was fuzzy, but I saw and heard you. I could feel your hands gently sweep across my bloody body and I shuddered at your touch. I could no longer feel the pain because my body had gone numb. The only time I felt it was when your strong arms wrapped around me and pick my up. I vaguely remember shaking as you cradled me against you chest.  
Then my mind went black.  
  
No matter what happens now Gohan, you must remember this.   
It's because of you that I lived as long as I have after what happened to me. I should've died there and then, but you wouldn't let me. You've always taken good care of me, especially when mom and dad died. Don't blame yourself for what happened because I'm not going anywhere, I'll never leave you. I'm so proud of you Gohan as mom and dad were and will always be. I'm proud to be your little brother. Your best big brother ever.  
  
I love you Gohan and I'll always be with you. Just look in your heart, we're all there.  
  
Let me feel your warm arms wrap around me one more time.  
Let me hear your soft voice whisper in my ear and tell me not to be afraid.  
Let me see your gentle black satin orb eyes and give me strength.  
Let me sense your eternal groove and twist around my own in one last innocent bliss.  
  
My dear dear big brother, live for me.   
  
Goten  
  
  
Fingers ran slowly over the vague traces of drops of blood on the paper. A small silver tear then landed next to the smudged blood.  
Amber let several pained sobs escape from her throat. Tear after tear fell from her red puffy eyes and dripped down her face. She was shaking a little as she held the heart written paper in her quivering hands. Cry after cry came from her mouth until she just couldn't stop.   
"Oh Goten."  
It was as if Goten was her brother too. She hated thinking about the pain he must've been in. The full extent of the horror and terrifying acts of death were coming to light and it made her sick. How could this monster cause such torture, such pain, such suffering?  
Amber didn't think she could bring herself to read the others, but her courage told her to continue.   
Amber read through more letters and painful memories of the Z Fighters, all of them producing the same reaction in her. After reading another 4, Amber picked up the next one which, unknown to her, would be extremely symbolic to someone's deeper feelings, no matter what the person showed on the outside.  
  
  
Bulma  
  
I saw him die. I saw him die right in front of my eyes. The memory haunts me everyone single second of every single day. You wanted to know exactly how, but I couldn't tell you. You knew from the look in my eyes that it was horrific.  
He was my greatest rival and former greatest enemy.  
Yet not even I, the Prince of the Saiyans, ever wished for him to face such a death.  
  
Kakarot. He fought with such power, with such stamina, nobility, intensity and he fought without fear. So what does that make me?  
He is everything I am not, yet he possesses what should've been mine. Is it because of what he is that made him get that blistering energy? I had no choice over who I became. I was kept in the dark corner and used as a porn in someone else's lust for ultimate power and dominance. I remember when I told him that on Namek. The look in his eyes. It was a look no one had given me before. I knew he had a deeper understand, but a deeper understanding of what? He calls me a friend, what have I shown him to make him think of me like that? He doesn't know who I really am…because I don't know who I really am. I know I am the Prince of all the Saiyan race, but is that all?   
Kurso! So many questions in my head and no answers to them! Or are the answers there right in front of my eyes? Am I so blinded by my own pride and burning determination to achieve the best that I miss the simplest things in the simplest places?  
You've always said that you've wanted to know me better, to be closer than we have ever been, to be totally united together. Then understand me now. When I was a child, I was taken from my rightful place at my father's side. My kingdom was obliterated in front of my eyes. From that point on I was shaped and moulded for one purpose, to conquer. I became nothing but an inanimate fighting tool of a loathsome empire. If you were me, what would you do?  
I am not weak, and yet my heart aches longingly for the one who was the closest person to truly understanding me as it does for you and my son.  
My son, Trunks. He too died, but I didn't see it with my eyes. I knew he had died when he went missing. I could feel is pain burning in my chest. I imagined him. The horror as his face twisted and contorted in never ending, heinous pain. The gruesome state of him as he looked down upon himself and seeing all the blood, all his Demi-Saiyan blood pumping vigorously from his chest. I saw him falling to the ground as I flew through the air, as fast as I am capable of, rushing to be with my son. I can't stop him dying, my heart knows that much, but I won't let him die alone. I find him on the edge of death's blade, clinging on to whatever energy he has left within him. I kneel at his side and look into his eyes. I see them filled with fear, frozenly preserved terror and the harrowing emptiness. I dread to look upon his body, but some force makes me. His legs are nothing but shreds as are his clothes, one arm lay completely twisted around at a sickening angle while the other lays twitching on the ground, on his chest, I see nothing but blood seeping and flowing like a waterfall around him. It formed a large pool around him and me. That wasn't the worst. The worst of it was that amidst all the blood, I could see a faint movement in his chest which I quickly realised was gaping open. My own eyes could see his heart beating erratically, forcing what little blood was still in his body to cascade out on his chest. I knew he could see me because he desperately tried to speak to me. I know he would never see me in such a state as I was ever again. More red liquid dribbled from his mouth in tiny streams. I pushed every thought out of my mind and concentrated on helping him in any desperate, tiny possible way that I could.  
With slow movements, I lifted my now teenage son up and laid him upon my chest. I lay one of my hands upon his blood soaked chest to try in vain to ease his pain and I used my other hand to stroke his blood coated lilac hair from his painful sweat drenched head. His gasps turned to sobs as bitter tears fell from his red clouded eyes. I hold back my own desperation, for his sake. I soothe him quietly, something I have never done to anyone ever. I whisper to him, to let him know I'm there with him and that he's not alone. As I speak to him, I feel his Ki going beyond the edge and fading into forever darkness. He moves his head to look at me. A small smile crosses his lips and he softly whispers to me.  
  
"Thankyou…dad…I…I..love you."  
  
Oh kami! I was so proud of him. In an instant his Ki flashed from his body and left my arms. I was so proud of him! I loved him! I never had the chance to tell him! I was going to tell him, but he was wrenched from my graps and slipped through my fingers before I could tell him! I was aflame with blinding rage and fury. Grief and guilt swept over my body. Trunks, my son, was dead. My greatest fear ever since Kakarot died had come true. He died like him, Trunks had died like Kakarot.  
  
Bulma, I can only say I'm sorry. Sorry for never showing you my once thought destroyed side. I'm sorry I couldn't be who you wanted me to be. I'm sorry I never had the chance to become who I chose to be. I'm sorry I never told you and Trunks how much I loved you and I'm sorry I never showed it.   
I lost my precious son to this monster, I won't let him touch you. As long as breath fills my chest, as long as my heart beats, as long as time lasts in itself I promise you that I won't let you die like Kakarot, like Trunks, like me.  
  
Vegeta  
  
  
By now, Amber was in flood of tears. She cupped her hands over her eyes and cried deeply into them. All the heart ache memories of her own experience became intermixed with the images of what the Z Fighters went through. She counted herself extremely lucky that she didn't see such horror. Now she knew the kind of terrifying things that Gohan must've saw and it made her cry worse. She had just one written paper left to read. She knew, without looking at it, that it was from Goku. It wasn't that she hadn't seen one by him yet, but in her mind it was expected. She put down the paper she was holding with the others and picked up the very last one.   
The message was moving and beyond all doubt, beautiful.  
  
  
Dear family and friends  
  
We've been through tough scrapes together. We've fought evil much more powerful than us and pulled through. I have no doubt that we shall do so again. I have faith in each and every one of you. No one is more powerful than the other. No one is stronger than the other. We are equal in everything.   
We are one.  
Our power comes from our combined power, strength, dedication and love.  
To all my friends and family. You guys are the greatest. I am who I am because of you. No matter how small, you've all contributed to my strength and inspired me beyond all imagination. In return, I give you back exactly what you've given to me. The power, love and courage to fight on and to never give up. There have been times when even I have been ready to give in. Sound stupid huh? But ever time I look at you guys, it reminds me of the reason why I'm fighting in the first place. I love and care for you all deeply and I would and have willingly died for you. That is proof of my feelings for you. I live in you all and exist as your protector. All the happy and sad times we've shared, the up's and the down's, I wouldn't change them for anything.  
Bulma. I remember when we first met. You nearly ran me over in your capsule car. Guess it's lucky I have a hard head huh? You took me on a wonderful journey on searching for the remaining Dragonballs to get your wish, to get a boyfriend if I remember correctly.   
Along the way we met Yamcha, Puar and Oolong, three wonderful friends whose courage, loyalty and determination I'll always remember.   
When I trained with Master Roshi, I met you Krillin. You quickly became my best friend and I couldn't ask for a better buddie than you.  
Through out my young life, I met up with Piccolo, Tien and Choutzu. You guys were very strong and no matter what anyone says, you've always stayed that way and always been great friends to me.  
Chichi, my darling wife. We met I obviously failed to see the wonderful beauty, charm and grace that makes you who you are. I love you so much Chichi and I've always admired you for your courage and loyalty and dedication to me and our two sons. Each and everyday I think of you and my heart loves you even more.  
Vegeta, the proud Prince of our race. We are the only full blooded Saiyans left. Our race lives on in us. You've always been determined to surpass me in power and strength. Since that day dark day when we first met, you've changed a lot, though at first you didn't know it. I don't care what anyone says Vegeta, you are one of us. You are a Z Fighter. Recent battles have proven that, especially now. You have a beautiful wife a fantastic son and marvellous life. You're a very lucky man Vegeta and a fine friend.  
Goten, my youngest son. How much you've grown up since the early days. Though most of your life has been through this wretched war, we've had good times together. Your so brave, strong, courageous and focused like your older brother. Goten, I'm so proud of you and I love you very very much.   
Gohan, my first son. You become far beyond anything I could've dreamed of. You bravery knows no limits and you determination holds no boundaries. I've watched you become who you are and my heart is filled with joy and love. Time and time again you've fought by my side. Nothing compares to the feeling of pride I have when we do. I know that you have some extremely horrid times ahead of you, like we all will. Just remember, my son, everyday you make me proud and that I love you so much. Trust your heart, fight with bravery and no matter what, you must never ever give up. I have faith in you Gohan, as I have for everyone.  
  
This war has claimed thousands of countless lives, but we shall not stop until this unspeakable evil is vanquished for good and peace is restored.  
If I do die before I have a chance to see the end, everything that I am will live on forever in each of you and that will see you through.  
  
With all my love, gratitude and fortitude  
  
Goku  
  
  
Amber lay curled up on the silk soft bed, softly crying to herself. For her, the message written by Goku was symbolic of what her parents and grandfather must think of her. After about half an hour of sobbing and looking at the setting sun, Amber slowly rose up, held the book close to her chest and walked out to where Gohan was.  
  
The Demi-Saiyan was sitting alone by a large lake, watching life dance and flutter past him. He turned when Amber walked through the trees to him. He stood up and faced her. He could tell, even in the darkness, that she had been crying but he couldn't think why. Amber then held the book to him. Gohan, though very confused, took the book and waited for Amber to explain.  
"That'll tell you the truth Gohan." Amber said quietly, wiping her tears away. "It'll also tell you that what I've been saying is true."  
With that, Amber slowly walked back towards the Capsule Corps building, leaving Gohan to read the contents of the book. He opened the first page and began reading.  
  
  
To anyone who finds this book…  
  
  
Amber waited for Gohan to return for over 4 hours. It was now 2:30 am in the morning. Amber was worried and very tired, but she refused to fall asleep until Gohan had returned and she knew he was safe. After another 5minutes, Amber heard the door being opened. Amber stood up as Gohan walked inside. She looked at him and her heart instantly melted. Silver tears covered Gohan's face, his eyes were red and slightly swollen from being rubbed too much and many sobs escaped his throat. The book was under Gohan's right arm, dark brown patches, where tears had hit it, very clearly visible.   
"Oh Gohan." Amber cried.  
Amber rushed to Gohan and hugged him tightly. This time, Gohan didn't fight and didn't resist against Amber's affection. He held her tightly against his chest and hugged her even more. Together, they both cried.  
Both their thoughts united together and became one as life and love paved out another step to the future. 


End file.
